


though we might have precious little, it’s still precious

by klainelynch



Category: Avatar: The Last Airbender
Genre: Episode: s01e20 The Siege of the North Part 2, Gen, Missing Scene, NaNoWriMo 2020, POV Iroh (Avatar)
Language: English
Status: Completed
Published: 2021-02-10
Updated: 2021-02-10
Packaged: 2021-03-15 17:15:32
Rating: General Audiences
Warnings: No Archive Warnings Apply
Chapters: 1
Words: 1,733
Publisher: archiveofourown.org
Story URL: https://archiveofourown.org/works/29317722
Author URL: https://archiveofourown.org/users/klainelynch/pseuds/klainelynch
Summary: The spirits wouldn't have returned Zuko from that explosion just to take him now. It all had to mean something, because if it didn't, Iroh didn't know how he could stand it.
Relationships: Iroh & Zuko (Avatar)
Comments: 6
Kudos: 28





	though we might have precious little, it’s still precious

**Author's Note:**

> NaNoWriMo ficlet inspired by [this post](https://klainelynch.tumblr.com/post/624479155843727360/tolstoyevskywrites-imagine-the-conversation) from tumblr

As Iroh watched the spirit of the moon return to the sky, he thanked all the spirits again for their warnings, and apologized for not doing enough. All evening, he had felt the pull towards this spiritual center. He knew where he was meant to be at the height of this siege. And yet, when his moment came, he had failed. He still felt light-headed from the paralyzing fear of watching Zhao make the worst sort of mistake possible. The spirits had been counting on Iroh to save them and the world—and he had just stood there, watching.

A child had saved them all.

Gratitude mixed with lingering horror; so much had nearly been lost, and a terrible price had been paid for all of their sakes. The Water Tribe boy was still looking up at the sky. Iroh wanted to say something to him, some words of comfort that came from his experience of losing love many times throughout his years, but that experience also reminded him that such words helped the comforter more than the would-be comforted. He slowly got to his feet and bowed to the siblings.

"Though you and I have stood on opposite sides in our past," he said, "I was proud to stand with you this evening, and am truly sorry for my part in your pain from this siege."

The girl murmured her thanks, but the boy's eyes never wavered, even when his sister put her hand on his shoulder. Iroh left before he could see him break down, but he could hear his sobs over the sounds of battle that continued outside of this holy place.

_He had to find Zuko._

It was his only thought as he anxiously navigated down slick stairs and all but ran into the main part of the city. Men lay crumpled on the icy sidewalk, men wearing red, men he had lied to when he promised them victory in this siege. He pushed down his guilt, like he had so many times before. He couldn't save _them_ , but he could save Zuko, and _Zuko_ could save their nation, he just knew it. 

But first, Zuko had to be alive.

The spirits wouldn't have returned him from that explosion just to take him now. It wouldn't make sense. The horror of that moment—of smoke burning his lungs and eyes as pieces of the ship they had spent the last three years of their life on flew in every direction—still haunted him every time he closed his eyes. Iroh had just stood there, staring, knowing but not understanding how much he had lost, barely noticing how the heat burned the tears from his face. The thought struck him that he should find Zhao and burn his world down just to return the favor, and that's exactly what he would have done if he hadn't noticed a sliver of red clothing against the sooty snow and had his impossible hope rewarded with an unconscious and badly hurt but somehow still alive Zuko.

It all had to mean something, because if it didn't, Iroh didn't know how he could stand it.

As he made his way closer to the bay, he saw fewer heaps of red on the ground. Iroh hoped his countrymen had made their way back to the ships unharmed, but a helmet in a canal stopped him in his tracks. The Avatar had joined with the ocean spirit to defend the city, and this was likely not the only soldier to have met his end in this way. For an awful moment, Iroh wondered if the Avatar had taken Zuko too. It seemed likely that Zuko would have gone after him, and the boy did not seem to be in control of his actions anymore. He couldn't see the blue light that had surrounded the Avatar as he left to defend the last stronghold of waterbenders. He also couldn't hear any more of the battle, and that scared him more than almost anything else from the entire evening. If he knew where the fighting was, he could find Zuko, but if the fighting was over, and he wasn't able to find him in time—

"Uncle!"

Zuko's voice cut through his panic even as it took him an eternity of a moment to locate him. His nephew was on a bridge above him, wearing an expression of fear and guilt Iroh had never seen, but he was here and safe, and all they had to do now was escape the city before this trek could take anything else from them.

"Come on," he called in a hushed voice, and neither spoke again until they were safely out of the city.

* * *

"Those clouds look promising, nephew. We'll have some rain by this afternoon, and then we'll have some water to drink,” Iroh said, hoping to draw a reaction out of Zuko, but this latest attempt at conversation had gone as well as every other one from the last two days. He was laying in his section of the raft with his arm over his eyes, trying to block out the sun and probably Iroh too. 

Iroh tried not to let his frustration overwhelm him, though he wasn’t sure how much longer he would succeed in that. It was bad enough not having food or water. He didn’t have the patience to do this all on his own. Zuko had gotten through worse scrapes before this one and had come out the other side ready to burn the world down, so what was the difference this time?

"We shouldn't be wasting our energy with this pointless conversation," Zuko finally muttered.

"By that logic, you just wasted your energy with that reply."

"You know what I mean," he said, sitting up for the first time that day. "It doesn't help us to wonder if it's going to rain today or not—either it will or it won't."

"Maybe you're right," he said, "but there's no need to sulk about our prospects. Who knows what fortune will come our way?" 

"Uncle, 'fortune' is the last word I'd use right now, and I'm not sulking."

Iroh snorted as Zuko flopped back onto his side. "We've spent the last three years of our lives together on a very small ship—please trust me when I say I know you better than that."

"No, it's just—never mind, you wouldn't get it anyway," he said, rolling away from him. Iroh frowned. It wasn't unusual for Zuko to disagree with him, but there was something different in his voice this time. Something vulnerable that Iroh usually didn't get to see. Whatever this was, he didn't want to scare it back into Zuko with a careless word.

"Why don't you put that to the test?" Zuko didn't look back, but he also didn't grumble again, and that was enough of an opening for Iroh. "Tell me, please, what wouldn't I get?"

There was a long pause, long enough that if there had been anything else to do, Iroh would have gone and done it, but they were on little more than three sheets of wood held together with rope and nails and sheer hubris in the middle of the coldest waters on the planet, so Iroh waited. And finally, Zuko replied.

"The Avatar saved my life, and I'm trying to understand why he would have done that." He paused, waiting for Iroh to jump in with an explanation as usual, but Iroh wanted to see what he was thinking first. "I had him, Uncle, in this cave on top of the ridge. The storms probably blow up there for days at a time, but if it had slowed down just enough, I could have made it. But then his spirit returned to his body from the Spirit World, and the waterbender had the advantage since night had fallen by that point."

"They took you with them," Iroh guessed, and Zuko nodded. Something unlocked in him, maybe in his head or perhaps in his heart, but that was it for him. The Avatar and his friends weren't just important for the world. They would be important for Zuko, too.

"I woke up on their bison and that other boy was still complaining about taking me along, so I know it wasn't his idea," Zuko said. "It had to be the Avatar, but I just don't understand why—why would he save me again?"

The last word caught his ear, but Zuko didn't seem to realize he had let anything slip. He was already talking through his theories, first something about the Avatar clearly playing games with his mind and then a long theory about this being subtle influence from Avatar Kuruk, who had a way of charming everyone around him, allowing him to get his way no matter what. 

Iroh was listening, but he was thinking too. His nephew had thought that no one knew about his sneaking out, and the frequency of those midnight trips had only increased in the last few months. Iroh hadn't known what he had been doing, but Zuko had always come back safe, so he'd tried to not worry. It seemed like there had been at least one time where that wouldn't have been the case if it weren't for the Avatar.

Zuko had stopped talking; it was time for Iroh to reply with wisdom and comfort, which he did, telling Zuko what he wanted to hear in the moment while also laying the groundwork for what he would eventually need to hear. This would take time, and he didn't have much of that. Iroh hadn't laid eyes on his brother in three years, and had barely seen him in the time between his return from Ba Sing Se and Zuko's banishment, but he still knew Ozai and his ruthlessness. Sozin's Comet was returning this summer, and Iroh would have bet every piece of gold he ever won in Pai Sho that Ozai would use it to his advantage. 

If he could help Zuko understand the truth about their family and his role in ending this war before the comet—but it was such an enormous _if_. Iroh worried about his chances for success, as he worried about his ability to keep them both alive long enough to reach land, but he would try, and today, that would have to be enough.

**Author's Note:**

> Title is a lyric from Rush’s “Bravest Face” (so I’ve now used that song twice for Avatar fanfiction titles, because I am nothing if not ridiculous)
> 
> Comments, kudos, and transformative works are always appreciated
> 
> Find me on tumblr at [klainelynch](https://klainelynch.tumblr.com/)


End file.
